Opening Day

Well it is opening day in baseball ( unfortunately, the Reds lost :-( ) and I thought it was great time to look at month two as a new beginning. I started the day out with my 3 year old telling me she wanted breakfast and then stopped and said we should exercise first!!!!!! We stretched and touched our toes and reached for the stars. Needless to say it was the most exercise I did over the weekend, Hell, OK the week. So begins opening day of month two my three old reminding me of why I am on this journey is a bottom of the ninth walk off home run for me..........

30 days into the Journey

Here we are 30 days into our 365 day journey and I have learned a lot. First I think I have learned that while in the past I ate a lot of food in individual sittings I also made just terrible choices. Once I started making good choices and trying eat every two hours I learned how hard it was to eat all of that food. I have learned to crave water. I rarely drink pop anymore. I have lost 11 pounds or 44 sticks of butter. I have been warned not to set weight loss goals that involve time restrictions but at this time I still feel that is in my best interest. I have lost inches as well as pounds and will report those actual numbers tomorrow as well as sharing a 30 day picture. I do not expect many changes in the picture but I can tell a big difference in the way some of my clothes fit. My big goal for April is to get the exercise in. I have not done to well with that as of yet. The good news is that I have my wife on the journey with me and now a good friend has decided that Atkins was not for him and WW was the way to go. Support all around. Thirty days in I need to remind all, but myself, that this is about life and death. I have a wife and two daughters that are counting on me

30 day eve

Well tomorrow will be 30 days, 1 month, a little less than 10% of the time on my new journey to learn how to eat again. Eleven pounds in the first month is 1 lbs over my goal of 10 pounds per month. I see the following being my issues in the first 30 days:

1. I still have not found the motivation to consistently exercise.

2. I have found it too easy to weigh in and not stay for my WW meeting. Work is the biggest excuse because I found that psychologically the Friday morning meeting is when I need to go.

3. I am not as detailed in writing stuff down. I write it all down ( well I enter it all in the computer) but find myself using the "Know the points" feature of the website and sometimes even guesstimating..........

How best to deal with these issues?

From Bowling to Bowling ball

Well after todays weigh in I have lost about a bowling ball ( at least the one I threw in the third game after I was so tired last week). Thank you all for your support last week. I was down 3 lbs. this week for a total of 11 lbs my first month. I am very happy with that and was concerned after last weeks disappointment. Moving in the right direction......

Awaiting the weigh in.

After last week who knows what to expect in the am.... I will let you know

Spring is in the Air

The family was able to come out of hibernation tonight. What a nice evening in the low 60's, lite breeze. The neighbor had a little fire going and the kids roasted marshmallows and made smores. I had none and opted to save points for my little 2 point ice cream... I had a good day today making good choices at a business lunch. I have hesitated to go out to lunch too much so i do not make bad decisions. Problem is that in sales lunch meetings tend to be pretty important. I made it easy by taking control and picking the restaurant where I know I could control my points ( went to Applebees). Stress level was a bit lower today also even though I am still trying to solve some work issue problems. I have to get use to it though . The end of the month in my business is always like this and I am just going to have to find ways to deal with it. 2 days till weigh in... I feel like I am doing well but have no idea what to expect.

25 days

This is the 25th day of my blog and for the first time ( ok mabye the second) I really do not feel like writing tonight. I guess I never really knew how much I used food to cope. Work was about a stressful as it gets today and again gave my argument that my industry is changing so rapidly that my job will obsolete in 5 years or less... The good news is that even though I went on a tiny binge the choices of food for that binge were good choices. My new favorite snack of melba , pickles and laughing cow cheese and hostess 100 calorie pack ( I had two of them!!!!) and dinner. Out of points but time for bed so I guess I made it through a tough day.

Me Hungry

Wow what I day.... I was actually very hungry today. I can honestly say that this is first time since I started that hunger was an issue. It is hard to say why. I was prepared and it seemed like all I did was eat but here it is almost bed time and I still have 4 points left. I also had a nicotine craving today. That is the first time that has happened in months. I have to think that something triggered both of them. A thought, a taste, a smell, a situation. I am not really sure what it may have been but I am going to give it some thought. On the plus side I did not cave either craving.. I had a mint when I had the nicotine craving and it went away. I also called my wife to talk about it, that seemed to help also. I even took a walk around the building... Not enough walking for an activity point though..... maybe tomorrow...........................

Easter Blessings

Well Easter has come and gone and things went well in the house. The Easter bunny was good to the kids and brought toys, money and limited candy instead of tons of candy...... life changes for all. We did really well in planning the day and as i write this I still have a few points left for the day. I can not believe how sore I am from bowling.... that right I said bowling. Two things I am committed to this week is at least 6 more activity points which is only 1 hour of exercise this week and getting all of my water in everyday............

Perspective

After having a great week I weighed in yesterday and only lost 0.2 lbs!!! I have to admit, I was pretty upset about it. In fact I did not even write anything down n my tracker yesterday. I did not go on a binge, but felt really bad because I was sure I had a good week. I wrote everything down and really did well staying on plan. After crying over my spilled milk I tried to find something positive and decided to measure myself. I measured my chest, waist, arms, wrist and thighs when I started. I found that in three weeks I have lost about 2 inches off of my waist, an inch and a half off of my chest and half inch off of my arms. I guess that is an NSV(non scale victory). I posted some thoughts and questions on the WW site and was happy to find some really good support. I really need to get the exercise going. I am committed to making that happen.......if I can move. My wife and I went bowling for our date ( got to be worth some activity points?). I have not bowled in 20 years and I used muscles I have not used in 20 years ( at least it feels that way)..... Not going on the pro bowling tour any time soon.... best score........ 123!!!!!!!!!!

0.2 lbs lost

Can we just talk about it tomorrow

I feel it

It is weigh in eve again and I feel good. My clothes seem to be fitting a little better, my attitude is good and I had a real good week.......so far so good. I am looking forward to the morning weigh in. I have to get the activity going... number 1 priority next week.

Olive who

So they brought in olive garden today for lunch. First big social test............. I passed. Thanks to my boss for getting some plain chicken to go on my salad and I brought my own dressing. Nothing else was less than 20 points a serving except for the bread sticks. I had two for a total of 6 points............ Live a little... I feel good

I need a boat

I wonder how many activity points I would get rowing to work..... If it keeps raining I might have too!!!!! 3.5 inches of rain in less than 12 hours and it is still coming down.... Speaking of water I had forgotten how much I like it. I drink it almost exclusively, an occasional diet pop or a mix with my water but mostly water with lemon. My body actually craves it. Tomorrow is the first test of a work function with food. I tried to control the situation making sure they ordered some appropriate good choice foods so we will see... Rain is making me very tired. it is 9:30 and i am going to bed. I do feel than I had a little shift in body shape based on some pants I had on today. I will let you know when I measure on Friday......

NSV for ME

I have always subscribed to the theory that people as a whole are good but hold prejudice regardless of intention. I have always felt that my weight was an speed bump to my complete success in business. Being in sales first impressions do mean a lot. I know that my ability and skill take over once someone has the chance to talk with me for a few minutes but even the best intentioned people when the see someone over weight think lazy. Hell, I do it and I am over weight. In my business, especially now, my expertise really makes a difference in my clients life and how they live. My point during this post is that since I have decided to take control of my life with getting my sleep apnea under control, quiting smoking and now weight loss I go about my day with a different attitude, one of more confidence that will only grow as my success in my weight loss grows. Today I had two clients successfully complete transactions that changed their lives. Both worked very hard and over came many obstacles to achieve their dream. Both knew and acknowledged my part in their achievement and were very grateful. I was very grateful for the recognition of a job well done. After 20 years in the business, it is still nice to hear.....

PS A NSV is a non scale victory

Reflection

No I am not going to go deep on you and give some meaningful thought .I am talking about your reflection in a mirror. When I look in a mirror I do not always see the fat guy. I always see it in a photo though....... today I ate dinner at a table that was facing a full size mirror. WOW that could make you stop eating all together. I am proud that I was able to be social and stay away from the snacks and not overeat and still have fun..... Used all my points but still had fun.

How Many Points in a fortune Cookie?

51 points!!! OK, not in a fortune cookie but that is how many I thought I had consumed today. I thought I was keeping good track knowing my wife and I were going out for dinner tonight. We had Chinese at our favorite Chinese restaurant next to our old home. We planned and did very well splitting a a non-fried chicken dish. My indulgence was steamed vegetable dumplings hers was crab rangoon. Well when getting home I tallied up my points and up to 51. I am only suppose to have 44 points a day. I get flex points but really try not to use them. The good thing about this is that it really made me look at what I ate today and where I may have gone off course. First notice is that I charged myself 4 points too many for lunch so I was really only at 47 and used only 3 flex points..... sounds like an excuse to me. Activity points are on the horizon..................

By the way, 2 points in a fortune cookie.

3.2 1 On a Roll!!!

That is 3.2 pounds lost and the countdown begins to my first 10 pounds lost. So far 7.8 lbs to date. I guess that would be about 31 sticks of butter. I am very happy with the result and really do not expect such large results each week but we will see.......

Weigh in Eve Jitters!!

I have to admit that I am a little apprehensive this evening. I know I have done well all week, although I could have had more activity. I just have anticipation on my weigh in tomorrow. I do not expect the same results as last week my goal is 2 pounds a week ..... we will see.

GAS MAN!!!!

Ok not going to get gross but the ole body is going through some changes. My wife says yeah right... you were gassy before you started to eat better...... She may be right but a human can only eat so much roughage. If we could bottle this I could end $3.45 gasoline The good news is that I have not had heart burn in 10 days and I still eat spicy food. I have to say my biggest challenge is eating all the food I am supposed to. I guess I am really learning about how bad my past choices have been.

I posted on the WW site to get some ideas for exercise since I am finding it hard to fit in, especially with work being so busy right now. Today I was in at 9 am and got home at 8 pm.... So this is the suggestion from the WW family. Make small changes during the week like park further away. get up every hour and walk down the hall or up and down the stairs and commit to exercise on the weekends. That way there should be not guilt during the week...... I ll let you know how it goes. do you have any ideas

Yeah..... Whatever

I am exhausted. I had without a doubt the most stressful day at work that I have had in the first part of this journey. In the past I would turn to food or smoke. Now I do not smoke but I do eat. I have not turned tofood yet. Thanks to Pita Pizza taking some of that away. Although I do have no points left for the day. I should just go to bed but I have more work to do. Hopefully I can get throught the rest of the evening without making a big dent in flex points. I need to find some 0 point options

I did not exercise today either. I commited to three other activity points prior to Friday ( Not counting the snow shoveling earlier this week) I need to kick it into high gear by friday with the exercise........ Till then I hope my head does not explode

Who needs flex points!!

I do, I do..... Tried something different today in trying not to have too many points left at the end of the day. When you get home at seven or eight it is hard when you have 15 or 20 points left so I tried to bring more snacky food to work with me........well.. for the first time in 10 days I had to dip into my flex point reserve.. granted it was only .5 points but still. I guess the idea of snacky stuff at work was a good idea but I was really busy with stress filled activities trying to take care of fires that need to be put out quickly. I learned that i was using the snacking as a stress outlet so I chalk up my flex point or .5 point to experience and now have some sugar-free mints to help me through the day... Lets see what tomorrow brings.

I forgot about those Muscles!!

Typing hard..... muscles hurt...... shoveled snow....... :-) Ok it is not that bad, yet.... after about 90 minutes , 60 of which I actually shoveled the driveway is clear of the 12 plus inches of snow that came down. The sad part is that this is the most physical activity I have had in months. I have to admit it felt pretty good. The best news is that my oldest daughter did about half of it last night.

I can not think of a better topic to start this week off as this is the week we try and get a little more physical. I am committing to 3 sessions of physical activity this week. I may do croga ( my version of yoga) and/or stand up and walk in place during commercials ( not during American Idol though, I would be walking for hours, LOL) I will keep you informed. Assuming I can get out of bed in the morning..............

Cabin Fever

Well we got the 15 inches of snow they called for and we have been couped up in the house for about 28 hours. I did get to go out with my daughter and play in the snow and shovel for about 15 minutes. Trust me .... Snow was heavy at least one activity point for that. Thinking on what I am going to commit to this week for activity. I will post that in tomorrow. It has been tough today but losing track of food could have been easy and I had to really think about what I ate this evening as I kind of went on a snack frenzy. The good news is that I made good choices and still have a few points left for the day. The best news of the day is my wife weighed in and lost 3.1 pounds..... we are so competitive..... I am really proud of her and love her for all of the support she gives me, even when I am at my worst.

Butter

18 sticks of butter!!!!! That is what I lost in my first week...... 4.6 lbs. I remember a weight watchers leader from years ago ( when i did not give it my all) that equated everthing to sticks of butter or bowling balls. It really made a agreat ( or not so great visual) I am pleased for the first week..... I am more pleased that I did not celebrate with food.... Bought MLB 08 for my PSP instead....... The test will be this weekend... Blizzard here in cinci so we will be stuck inside all weekend...... I'll keep you posted...........

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow ( but after 11:00am)

Today was a good day I have lots of anticipation for my first weekly weigh in on Friday morning. The forecast is for a huge snow storm ( more than 10 inches of snow for Cinci is a lot of snow) I will crawl to weight watchers to weigh in if I have to. I feel like tomorrow is the beginning even though I started a week ago. It is the realization that what I am doing is the right thing and that progress is being made. The pounds I lose will be pounds I will never see again.....

Pink Eye and the day from Hell!!!

I think I have pink eye!! Never had in my life. Thought my three year old had it last week and now my 18 year old and I got goop coming out or our eyes. It is pretty uncomfortable. Oh well, keep using the drops and washing hands( at least my wife tells me I should). Really rough day at work... You know one of those days that everything you touch turns to Sh*t. Spen most of the day putting out fires. I wonder if I felt better if I would have tried to turn to food for comfort.... I did not but the 100 calorie pack mini cupcakes did help :-)

A family memeber yesterday could not understand why I would write about something so personal as my weight. I do not see how it is personal. Anyone can see I am overweight. My goal is to give my self leverage by sharing honestly and not hiding my thoughts about food. Liek I said in my first post. I do not want to die. Hoensty is the best policy and I think the blog will aslo help me think through a healthier relationship with food. Well, gunk in my eyes is making it harder to see . Off too bed early tonight. till next time..........


PS Weigh in is FRIDAY

The Jaws of Life!!

Being overweight is pretty funny sometimes if you think about it. I am not saying that I completely enjoy it. I am also not laughing ( well maybe a little at myself)..... Most people think that heavy people are lazy when in 99% of the cases that just is not true. Don't get me wrong, I am not running a marathon anytime soon ( although I did commit to walk in a 5k for charity in May. I have not walked 5K this month!!!) but I work hard and have no problem working around the house etc. Food is just a drug and so far being 4 days into this journey I am doing pretty well. No slip ups or cheats as of yet. The proof will be on Friday when the weigh in comes....... The Jaws of life.... So anyway, the most running I have gotten in the last few years is running to be the first one in the restaurant. Not so I could eat. So I could make sure we got a table and not a booth.. Admit it, fit or fat, booths in restaurants are way too small. Chances are when you sit in the booth and more of you is resting on the table than in the bench you probably need to work on your waist line!!! And who thought of bolting the table down? That makes it even worse. If I do get in a booth I may need the Jaws of Life to get me out......

My Space

My Space, which can be a pretty large area, is going pretty well today :-). Again, I find it amazing how hard it is to eat all of the food you are supposed to eat or allowed to to eat when you are making good choices. Do not get me wrong. Three days does not make a life change but it is a start. Understand that food has been a drug for me. I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad. I eat to celebrate. Today was a pretty stress free day at work so I was not tested as I could be. One day at a time and one pound at a time. I did not put the pounds on overnight I can not take them off overnight

Five Feet!!!!!

No I am not Five foot tall but my chest is 61 inches!!!!! That is over 5 feet........ I feel like Anna Nicole :-) I was talking with my wife today and remembering some of the funny things that did happen on the way to 364 pounds. One is about a year ago I asked her if she was doing something different with the laundry. She asked why. I told her my clothes are shrinking. Talk about denial........... I'm serious I actually thought that she was doing something different with the laundry... Oh well... Second day went well. The weather broke and we all got out of the house for a bit. Obviously, it is much easier to keep from eating if you are not sitting in front of the TV or lying around the house. I have done weight watchers in the past, and was successful until I stopped using all the good habits I learned... I had forgotten how hard it is to eat as much food as you get when you are making good choices. Tomorrow should be interesting as it is the first day on the program with work stress thrown into the equation....... Stay Tuned...

I do not want to die!!!!

Based on the title of my blog you can probably figure out that I have a slight weight problem. I have decided that for the next 365 days in my journey to lose weight and get my body in shape I will also commit to write about my experience. I am 41 years old and weigh a whopping 364 lbs!!!!! The heaviest I have ever been. I sat in the doctors office two years ago overweight, a smoker and dog tired from real bad sleep apnea. My doctor pretty much confirmed what I already new. I better get in shape before I could not physically do it any more or I died, whichever came first. I have controlled the sleep apnea with a CPAP machine, one of the best things I ever did....... and I have quit smoking, the best thing I ever did for myself.. Now it is on to the weight loss. I am doing weight watchers because I know it will work. I considered surgery but would prefer to keep that option as a last resort, although I am getting close to that time. So, I will write everyday for the next year. No pulling punches, complete honesty and full disclosure. Good or Bad....... Come along for the ride. It should be fun